Tessellate
by sarjevo
Summary: She does not understand, he tells her. What does she not understand? That he is battered, damaged? What does she want from him, him from her?
1. Fledgling

Escaping the vault wasn't so scary ya know. A lot of people think it's scary running from people you've known your whole life-the ones that came to your birthday parties, baked you sweets and gave you gifts; the ones that are now out for your blood and yours alone, the ones that are now shooting at you and thrusting their fucking jacket at you and stopping you when the fucking head of security is breathing down your neck with his night stick practically elbow deep in your asshole.

No, it's not scary.

Running through D.C, fighting my way to Three Dog wasn't scary-all the while fighting off these giant green guys you've just been introduced to that are yelling about splattering your brains and all that, all the while climbing over rubble and getting a serious laser burn when your asshole knights(literally) in shining armor get shotty with their aim; oh and don't forget the giant fucking green guy that is humming 'doom doom doom' while he crushes one of the knights under his giant ass, all the while you're trying to balance this serious nuke launcher on your shoulder so you can take this guy down.

No, that's not scary.

Fighting through the tunnels to the Museum of Technology was scary-getting shot by raiders, having to spend a good week in the tunnels while you recuperated some, cursing all of the gods in existence when you reach the surface and your hear about seventeen or more things fly around you(bullets, grenades, the occasional 'I want to eat your bones human'), shaking like a leaf when you get inside the museum and realize you have to navigate your way through a recreation of a vault, finding out theres an even bigger green dude than you fought just outside the tunnels(talkin bout a brute here).

No, that wasn't scary.

Getting to that giant tower you see standing in the middle of the Mall-getting chased by green dudes and these things the knights call 'centaurs' through dugouts, hitting the dead end and realizing you have about two grenades left but a whole army of green guys and their watch dogs; don't forget to mention that fear of heights no one ever had to deal with in the vault when you reach the top of that tower, dangling too high in the air while you try to attach that fucking satellite, getting all the way down and finding out you dropped the damaged one on the head of a knight.

No, that wasn't scary.

Getting home to Megaton-sounds easy but remember all those green dudes and raiders? Yeah they know about your ass now, heard the explosion and cries of Deathclaws when you wormed your way past the Super Duper Market; they want your blood and they get a little of it too, all over them and the ground but managing to limp home you realize you have to go back into D.C. because a good friend(meaning that sweetheart of a ghoul Gob) wants you to deliver some letters to Underworld. Then you dead pan and curl in a ball crying because you know for a fact you just fucking crawled your way through the tunnels that went right under that fucking museum, stared at it after getting down from the tower.

That's not scary, that's annoying, but you get what I'm saying right?

Sure, the wasteland is scary, but you have to deal with it and right now I am scared. Wanna know why? Because there is this big fucking ghoul named Charon pinning me against a bar because he caught me trying to get his contract out of his 'employers' safe. How the fuck did he see me? I'm wearing a stealth by I'll have you know. He breathed against my throat, growling in my ear. The only light in the bar was a fire lantern by Ahzrukhals bed, where the dirty snake was laying.

"Are you out of your mind?" the ghoulish bodyguard hissed in my ear, twisting my wrist tighter.

I squeaked against the molding wood of the bar, a strand of invisible crimson hair falling into my eyes. "Yes but that doesn't have anything to do with what I was just doing."

"Stealing from my employer? I'll let you in on a little secret fledgling," fledgling? He moved closer to my ear. "I am allowed to kill whomever sneaks into the bar."

"Your allowed not required." I growled back, jerking under his calloused, bloody fingers. "Let me the fuck go, I was just trying to help you."

"By stealing my employers money?"

"By getting your contract you moron."

He laughed a little, it was sad, hollow. "He keeps that on his skin."

Code: it's underneath his clothes, in one place I don't want to go.

"Fuck, guess I'll be paying for it then. Maybe I can be a hooker, any ghouls that don't hate non ghouls here?"

That got no comical relief for the moment, but it did stun him enough to make his grip easier to worm out of and I was hiding in a corner in seconds, nudging the door open just enough and letting it shut for effect. He looked around and growled, stalking back to his corner and settling into a chair. He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, hanging his head and closing his eyes. He really trusted me to be gone that much? No…no he knew I was still in the room. His eyes weren't closed like I thought they were, they were open, poised towards me.

"Fuck you," I spat, standing straight.

"Go to your room at Carol's fledgling."

"Stop calling me a fucking Fledgling," I hissed. "And what the fuck does that mean anyway?"

"It means a person who is young, inexperienced or immature." He flipped a cigarette into his lips, proving our differences because we both know if I did that I would make an ass out of myself. He cupped a hand over the lighter he produced and the flame lit up his scratchy face with red. When the lighter was gone all that was left was a floating red dot. I could make out the hollow form of smoke that flowed from his lips. It made me hungry. "You are immature, inexperienced. You were foolish for coming in here and expecting this to be easy."

"And you seem too scripted." I narrowed my eyes.

"That is because I have given this speech many times when some foolish new comer wanders in here and eyes that sack of caps Ahzrukhal flaunts about without a care. Most of them are dead by now, you are smarter than the others were strangely enough."

"Strangely enough?"

"Yes, I usually wrap up this speech the moment I catch them and send them packing to the true ninth circle of hell, but you persevere and I am curious to see what you do next."

Wow he was stupid, or was I? I think it's me because the only other option I can think of providing for myself is to run past him and get that contract from his sleeping employer's pants. But I don't see that going down so well. I stand in the corner, letting my fingers twitch around but never reaching for anything. God, I needed to figure out a solution. I wasn't walking out of here alive, he wouldn't let me go. He was itching to kill someone but I didn't want that to be me.

"Make a move fledgling."

I glare at his silhouette, hear Ahzrukhal stirring in the other room. "Why can't you just let me go?"

"You are free to go whenever you like, fledgling."

"But not to where I want to go."

"You are smarter than I thought."

I groaned. "And if I sit here until morning?"

"I do not think you will make it, and even if you do I do not believe Ahzrukhal is willing to let a trespasser just leave the bar."

"If I make him an offer for your contract he will. The thing is a greedy prick, money is his love. If I offer him a thousand interest on the two thousand he can't refuse."

A ghost of smoke floats towards the ceiling, crashes against it and floats in different directions. "Cunning, but still stupid"

"Can't give me one boost of confidence? I am trying to get you out of here after all, why not let me do that?" I shift my weight. "Or do you enjoy being his lap dog?"

He is silent for a solid three minutes. "You do not understand the situation. You are too young."

"Help me understand then."

I heard wood crack. "No, get the fuck out of here."

And I do just that, running out of the bar and across the Carol's Place. I am safe here on this old queen bed. I am safe wrapped in this lab coat with its familiar smell. I am safe surrounded by non hostiles. I am safe in my dreams, where I am still in my box, still away from the outside world and all of its dangerous bullshit. I am safe with her and nothing can hurt me.


	2. Crap

So I step into the Ninth Circle the next morning, fresh faced but still pissy about last night.

Fledgling, that's what he called me and it pissed me off for some reason. I was not immature, I was not stupid or anything like that. How could he say that to me? He didn't even know me and he was already criticizing me. Just like everyone fucking else in this shithole of a wasteland. They all thought I was one thing when I was fucking not. I was hardly any of those things: messiah, capital crime lord, fat cat, and savior. How the hell did they get those titles out of any of the shit I did? So what I saved a few people, then killed a few more. That made me neutral, ya know? I kill the innocent, save the innocent and the world continues to go round. Why couldn't anyone see that?

I don't know, maybe Charon does see what I don't. My father always told me there was more than meets the eye when it came to me. I'm a girl, a stubborn one at that so of course I don't see anything but everything everyone else sees. I don't see the me I'm supposed to.

"We'll look at you my ray of sunshine," Ahzrukhals slimy accent slid over me.

I bowed a little and groaned inwardly, pressing onward to the bar. I could feel Charons eyes on me and wanted to look back, challenge him like I had last night but that would have to wait. I could not do such a thing when I was this close to his master. No, Ahzrukhal would suspect something, deny my money for the contract just to watch me twitch. I just knew it, he loved torturing people more than money.

"So what's the bill for him huh? 1,000 or are you bumping it up more because it's me?" I asked, placing my elbow on the bar and leaning onto my hand with my chin.

He glared at me, eyes darting all over me and back to Charon a couple times. Guess he was contemplating getting Charon to throw me out of here. Had Charon told him about last night, told him I tried to steal the contract and failed, that he had caught me in here? I think he would have had me killed already though, Ahzrukhal is that kind of thing I just know it. He raised his chin up a little and crossed his arms, staring down at me.

"It is two thousand and I won't except any other amount of payment." He said slowly, like I was bad in the head.

I growled a little and took out my sack of caps, taking out about thirty caps for me and tossing the rest of the caps in front of him. He watched me with accusing eyes as I stuffed the other caps into my pocket. "What? That is two thousand, trust me even though you can't. I killed a lot of people to get that amount of caps."

He glared a little and pulled out the contract slowly, placing it on the counter and I reached out quickly. The paper felt gross, slick and all that disgusting shit. I don't want to look at this piece of whatever-it-was but I had to make sure I wasn't being jipped. I turned away from the bar and unrolled the piece of something and scanned my eyes over it, seeing nothing but old faded and smeared words that I couldn't make out. I rolled up the paper, satisfied with my transaction, just a little pissed off because of the money I don't have. I walked over to Charon, saw him narrow his eyes and open his mouth to speak but I held a hand up and clamped it over his mouth.

I held up the contract, let it unravel before his eyes and watched them widen. I put my hand down and placed it on my hip. "None of that talk to Ahzrukhal crap, you're my partner now you big bugger."

"You have purchased my contract from Ahzrukhal? So, I am no longer in his service that is good to know. May we leave this city as soon as possible?"

I blinked. "Um, sure. That was the plan. Let's go then."

He nodded and I turned on my heel, walking towards the door while he followed me. I rolled up the contract and stuffed it into the pocket of my raider painspike armor. The pockets were so fucking tight I knew there was no chance of this baby falling out. It took me a good month to get these pants flexible enough to even walk right, running was taking its toll. I was afraid these things were gonna rip at the crotch. I looked around Underworld, lighting a cigarette with an old match from under my Pip-Boy; the nicotine buzzed through me and I sighed, scratching the back of my head. I was ready to go, pack on my back, laser rifle hanging from it. I had REDDIN carved into it, in memory of the initiate I befriended on my way to Galaxy New Radio. She was a kickass chic, so I had to keep the rifle and not let it go to the memorial room Colvin told me about. They just let those weapons rust and shit, but I couldn't let that happen to her weapon.

Charon opened the doors to the outside for me and I bowed my head a little in respect, stepping through and waiting for him to let the door shut before I did what needed to be done. I dropped my pack and squatted a little, grabbing onto the crotch of my tights with both hands and pulled down, getting rid of the wedgie I had. When I looked up I noticed Charon staring at me, with a strange expression on his face. I stood straight, raising a brow and cocking my hip.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head so I put my pack back on, leading Charon out to the metro tunnel. I looked around, saw the mutants fighting in the dugouts and had this crazy idea. But you know what, fuck that idea. I was low on ammo. I needed to get to Rivet City and fighting a bunch of mutants would slow me down. I sighed and we walked down into the metro, me keeping my eyes on Charon. I wanted to question him, probe him, but I just couldn't just start throwing questions at him. Or could I? I could try, but that would mean pissing him off and I didn't want to do that right now. No, it was too early to start pissing him off and testing him. I did that to Jericho and he wanted to rip my throat out, so I learned to just play it by ear now. When they were comfortable with me I started to bother the shit out of them, see if they would stick with me or not. Jericho was the only one that didn't freak out when I killed that Beggar outside f Megaton, he was the only one that didn't give a shit if I was from the vault or not.

"Ya know I would think you would kill Ahzrukhal for the way he treated you. You could do that right? You can kill your employers after you're bought out," I looked over my shoulder at Charon, hands deep in my pockets.

I couldn't see him but I heard him sigh. "Yes, I could have killed him, but you do not understand our relationship so I will not explain myself to you."

"Unless I order you to right?"

"Yes."

I hummed and turned back around, just in time to smoothly weave around a crashed rail car. "So were yall gay or something?" I asked randomly, ashing my cigarette.

I heard him growl. "No Mistress, we w-"

"Mistress?"

"You have not told me what I am allowed to call you so I choose to call you mistress as I called Ahzrukhal Master. Would you prefer something else?"

I chuckled and stuck my cigarette in the corner of my mouth. "Well yeah my name is Dimitri, call me Dimi."

"Well then _Dimi_, our relationship was of one I do not wish to disclose to such an inexperienced employer. If am in your employment long enough I may disclose this to you."

I nodded at nothing and we continued to walk, finally making it to the platform and climbing up the stairs, me with more difficulty than I should have had. I was almost panting by the time I got to the top and that was bad. I haven't done much wondering of the wastes so I was a little out of shape. Maybe I could train a little when we got back to the tower. I hope Roy has everyone settled in, I don't want to have to deal with that shit when I get there. Cleaning was not in my book of exercising though I know it would count. There was a lot of shit the ferals tore up that they didn't need to, they just didn't get to my room so I was ok. Thanks to Godfrey the room was squeaky clean.

"We gotta swing by Rivet City, is that ok with you?"

"Wherever you go I shall follow."

I sighed and hung my head, nibbling on my filter. "Charon do you want to or not, honestly I can take my sweet ass time with this process. I am courteous enough to you, even after last night."

"You were attempting to steal from my employer fledgling."

I turned on him, baring my teeth and crushing my filter between my teeth. My hands were balled into fists at my side. "What is it with that? Why do you have to call me a fledgling dammit?"

He looked down at me, totally indifferent to my reaction. "Because that is what you are to me, I believe we have had this argument before if my memory serves me well and it does."

I growled. "Well stop it dammit, I was trying to save your ass from that evil, snake like bastard and you attacked me, hurt me to. I try to save you and this is how I'm treated? I get called the equivalent to a child?" I stared at him intently but he did nothing. "What? No anger towards me, no sympathy that you injured my back? Nothing for your employer? You are a pathetic soldier." I turned on my heel and started up the steps, hearing him filing behind me.

The only access I could see was a metal platform with a beggar and a speaker. I asked the beggar for information on how to get onto the ship and he just asked for water. I rolled my eyes and stepped back, facing the ship with my hand son my hips. I decided to leave. Fuck this place, I would get to him later. I could see the bridge on the opposite side of the water and I was just not into that today. I started down the ramp, grumbling to myself and hearing Charon grumbling behind me.

At least we had one thing in common.

But most of this was his fault, I was trying to help him, save him from that rat bastard and he calls me a child? What the fuck man, I just don't understand him. Not yet at least, I planned on figuring him out before I gave him his freedom. Or could he have freedom? He was brainwashed into that contract, forced into it from probably an early age when the brain is still palpable and all that shit. I looked over my shoulder at him, saw him looking off into the distance at something before he looked out at the water that slowed through the Potomac. He paused when I did, at the water's edge and shifted his weight. I gotta say, seeing his left hip cock out to the side made him…look so damn feminine. I bit my tongue and snickered, putting a hand to my chest and sighing before I took my pack and gun off my back.

"What are we doing?" Charon spoke when I was waist deep in the water.

I turned back to Charon, pack and gun on the top of my head. "Well I hate taking the metros so I stick to the edge of the shore and scuttle along through the water. Come on, trust me this is so much quicker than the metro's. This way we can see if anything is coming at us."

He grumbled and took his shotgun from his back and held it up, and started following me. I smirked and we started against the very edge of the Jefferson Memorial and working our way around. The only thing I could hear was far off mutant talk and the sound of us walking through the water. It was peaceful this early in the morning. Even the mutants had a schedule strangely enough, and for most of them that schedule started at around ten something in the morning. It was only nine something right now. I reached down for a second and scratched at my chin, looking across the river. I saw something gliding towards us and cursed, jogging up onto land and dropping my pack, pointing my rifle at the water's edge. Charon was at my side in seconds, shotgun pointed in the same direction of my rifle.

A mirelurk came up, clicking and bitching, snapping its claws inches away from my face. I ducked and squeaked, pointing my gun to its tiny face and pressing down on the trigger. It gave this strangled cry when a black and red burn ran up its face but it did not stop trying to snap me in half. I could hear Charons shotgun going off and saw more than one bullet streak past my face to the monster, making it back away a few times. I stood straight for a moment, everything slowing down as the mirelurks face turned to ash, a few pieces of meat squishing from the creases of its shell as it jerked and slumped to the ground.

I looked over at Charon, panting with a grin on my face and cheered, dancing around him. "We did it! We fucking did it!" I fist pumped my rifle.


	3. Hmm

I stare out into the wasteland, past the flickering flames of the campfire and sigh. I lean onto my knee, cigarette balanced between two long fingers, and rub my head, trying to ease the headache forming behind my left ear. Charon is asleep, I forced him into letting me take first watch. We were hovelled between the asphalt of a fallen overpass and an old Corvega that was propped against it. There was nothing but a boulder to our backs so there was really only one way to get out of here and that was the way I was facing. I looked over my shoulder at Charon, he was sitting up, back against the boulder, with his shotgun against his chest. His head hung and his chest heaved with slow, lumbering breathes. It was like he hadn't slept in days, and knowing that slime that owned him before me he hadn't. I don't see why he didn't kill that bastard, I surely would have. And seeing as I can order Charon to do whatever I please I think I might get him to sit still and trek my way back to Underworld one day and take care of that vermin once and for all. I might do it tonight, I am restless and it would ease my growing urge to soot something.

I guess I would qualify as a trigger happy fool, my bullets don't discriminate, so neither do I. when I first left the vault I was terrified of a pistol, now I got this big hulking laser rifle and I enjoy frying people whenever I get the chance. I haven't killed that many people, I mean im not evil by any means. I just kill who needs to be killed, beggars that are skin and bones, children wandering the wastes alone, people captured by super mutants because I know they'll just run off, high on the fact that they are free, and get captured in five seconds flat. It's a process I have witnessed more than once and I can't stand it, so I started slaughtering people.

I sighed and started to fiddle with my Pip-Boy, turning on Galaxy News Radio and catching the end of Anything Goes. Three Dog's howl made me smile and I checked on Charon, seeing he only twitched in his sleep with the howl and turned the volume down a little bit more. "Hey there little kiddies, boys and girls, I would like to tell you a story…a story about a little girl looking…for her da-ddy" I chuckled at Three Dog and continued to listen, ashing my cigarette before I took a quick drag. "So I told you about the amazing gal that fixed our antenna relay right? Well turns out she has a new companion, he a helping hand to her good deeds or her misdeeds? Let me tell ya kiddies he is one big guy, a ghoul with a shotgun so don't go messin with our dear Miss 1-0-1 if you don't want to be at the wrong end of that shotgun. Now my children, sit back, relax and enjoy some more of those classic tunes."

I stared out at the wasteland, the Ink Spots crooning about a maybe they were hoping for. I took a drag off my cigarette and put out the cigarette on the ground, blowing the smoke up and into the stars. I liked the wasteland, I mean I could do without the fighting and all that shit, but it was nice when you wanted to be alone, or you wanted to learn how to sneak properly. I was a great stealth fighter now, having found plenty of stealth boys through by scavenging and then the fact that I am malnourished now because of the lack of caring for myself I can squeeze into tight spots and not be seen for hours. I mean I love myself like I should, but I just don't really have the time or patience to give myself the care I need. Plus I always had this tendency to eat more than I should. In the vault we never had to worry about food so we could eat as much as we wanted to. And boy did I, I was picked on because of my eating habits. I wasn't fat really, I was chubby-ish. Or so I had been telling myself all these years. I'm still insecure about it, that's why I wear such revealing clothes now because I'm happy about my new slim figure. I still have stretch marks on my stomach and shoulder though, and a few around my thighs but their nothing I can't cover.

I stood up and stretched, craning my neck back to see Charon still asleep. I smirked and started walking out into the wasteland, rifle in my hand as I stalked around in the sand. Ya know there is really nothing to shoot at night, I mean sure there's the occasional Deathclaw or Yao Guai, but the mutated bears never really bother me and the Deathclaws don't really come this close to the city. I smoothly go around a boulder and scramble to the stop, perching on the top of the boulder like I'm the Queen of the Wasteland. I smirked and raised my chin to the air, letting the wind carry my hair behind me.

"Must you wander off while I rest?"

I looked back and down to Charon, see him glaring at me with a cigarette between his fingers. I roll my eyes at him and turn back around, seeing flashes coming from somewhere in the city. "I always wanted to scavenging around in the city ya know? Think we can do that sometime?"

"It is not safe and truthfully I do not wish to be in that city ever."

I didn't say anything, just moved my eyes to the wasteland. I needed to get home, check on everyone in Megaton. Lately the caravans had been slowing down on visiting and we were having to ration out supplies so everything was getting skinny. I rubbed my forehead and jumped down from the boulder, cringing when i hit the ground and pain blossomed. Oh yeah, that felt fucking fantastic. I shook my head and walked past Charon, back towards the fire, and kicked some dirt on it, grabbed my pack and started walking.

"What are we doing?"

"I want to get home as soon as possible so were walking through the night, got a problem with it?"

He said nothing so I nodded and kept walking. We walked past the old Anchorage War Memorial, I saw a few ghouls making camp on top of it and immediately took a right, walking over the crumbling bridge to get to the memorial. I saw two centaurs wandering around on the other side of the water but didn't worry about it, they hadn't seen me so I would pretend like I hadn't seen them. The ghouls looked up when I cleared the stairs, my legs a little wobbly and held up their bats and knives, but saw Charon and relaxed a little.

"What are you all doing up here?" I asked, looking around their makeshift camp with bored eyes.

One swallowed loudly and walked closer to me, brave he was. "Seeing as we can't make it to Underworld we decided to make a home here. What's it to ya?"

I smirked. "Well super mutants don't attack ya right?"

"Right."

"Well then all you have to do is swim to the memorial from the Citadel and take the metro by Rivet City. Underworld is left on the second platform. We just cleared the way and I'm sure Tobar wouldn't mind ferrying you across. But I'm also sure you don't want to walk that damn far."

They all stared at me, a little dumbstruck, but started packing their shit quickly. I chuckled and started back down the stairs and across the bridge, whistling through my teeth. I felt Charon behind me before I heard him and it made me a little uneasy until I remembered he can't harm me. I felt like such a cynical bitch, thinking of someone so degradingly, but you know what, he still thinks of me as a child and I am pissed about it. He isn't the only one that thought of me that way, but he was the first to truly vocalize it and that made me even angrier. I would rather it be a secret you know?

"That was rater kind of you to help them like that."

I shrugged. "All a part of my duties right? Messiah and all that nonsense." I waved a hand in the air and then went for a cigarette. I let my head drop back for a second and enjoyed the taste of the nicotine. "Plus I would want someone to help me like that if I was out and lost in the wasteland. No far that they should die because they wanted to be safe at night."

"Most humans do not take too kindly to ghouls, Dimi."

I smiled. "Hey, you called me Dimi."

"That is what you wished am I not correct?"

I sighed and took a drag from the cigarette, blowing the smoke out from my nostrils. "Well yeah Charon, but you repeatedly called me a fledgling and I'm just a little surprised is all."

He hummed and we continued walking, silent save for the howl of wind and the cries of super mutants.


	4. Meh

**I am so sorry its taking me so long to update this story. my computer got attacked by a virus and i just worked out all the kinks so i plan on posting at leastt two chapters soon. Just wait on me a lil longer please!**


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